I have a dream and an almost desperate determination not to lose it.
I’ve arrived at an understanding of this “freedom of opportunity” that America has always been fighting for, and the great historical wall built by the average Joes for the average Joes. The population speaks of dreams and happy endings without believing in the possibilities. Courage, imagination, and passion are widely encouraged, but it is advised to land the plane early, wake up, and smell the coffee.
Yet, I continue to cling onto both dream and determination like a lifeline. Letting go grows increasingly difficult, while concealing true intentions to avoid meeting brainwashing words becomes steadily easier. Thus, a tendency developed in my person that causes much mistranslation and in others that leads to a lack of acceptance.
Two things are vivdly clear through my looking glass: my deepest desires and darkest don’ts.
I don’t want to simply pass through life following the very average, typical traditions of society: spending years going through schooling, marriage and raising children, simply because it’s the expected life cycle of a woman. I don’t like having my life being weighed according to the size of a child, a house or a bank account. I despise measuring my failures by my skin color, body shape and personality. All the same, I loathe hearing my potential limited to the classifications and stereotypes of the people I am associated with.
As young as I am, I have experienced firsthand the meaning and consequences of growth and choice, both in situations within and outside of my control, for the better and for the worse. Indeed, I have chosen some less favored options, but I do not regret the decisions I made or the developments I went through. I feel pride that it was I who lived and decided under a sound state of mind that was all me. I believe in growth and choice, and that they go hand in hand. I believe I am walking down a path built from my own choices, be they virtuous or sinful, and I feel a certain pride for this path even under pressure of detrimental consequences.
I want this freedom to hope and dream. So, I have decided: I will dictate my own life, whether it’s to be the life of a poor beggar or that of a billionaire princess. I will be the decider. And that’s why I am glad I am pursuing my dreams, despite how solid the barricade, far away the stars and intangible the clouds.